The difference between independence and isolation
I just finished my in-person group coaching sessions with two groups of amazing women and honestly, it reminded me why I love creating content this way.
There’s something powerful about being in a room full of people, hearing real questions in real time and watching how one person’s story unlocks something for another.
I told everyone to come with three questions but by the end, so many of them were saying “Just listening to you answer her question solved something for me.”
That’s the beauty of community.
You come for one thing and leave with what you didn’t even know you needed.
But another thing stood out to me and it’s something I’ve been seeing for a while now, especially in my accountability group.
It’s this constant push and pull between hyper-independence and co-dependency.
So many people have this deep desire to be independent.
To do it all on their own.
To be the one who figures it out, holds it down, gets it done.
But somewhere along the way, that independence can quietly harden into hyper-independence.
You trick yourself into thinking that if you need help, you’re weak.
That if you lean on someone, they’ll know your business and judge you.
And then one day, you wake up and realise that you’ve built this saviour complex, where you always have to be the strong one, the capable one, the one everyone else leans on.
The problem is it leaves no space for softness.
No space for being human.
No space for receiving.
Then on the other end of the spectrum, there’s co-dependency. This is that need to be handheld through every step, to have someone constantly validating your next move.
Some people genuinely believe accountability means having someone with them every single day. And I understand where that comes from. It’s that deep desire to feel supported, to feel like someone’s truly with you.
Somewhere in the middle of all that is interdependence.
That sweet spot where you know what’s yours to carry and what’s meant to be shared. Where you can ask for help without abandoning your own responsibility. Where you can give without losing yourself.
That’s the balance I think we’re all trying to find in life, in business, in relationships.
And after todays session, that’s my biggest reflection.
We need each other but in the perfect dose. Not too much because that can be poison, but not too little because that can be abandonment.
And if you don't know where to start with that, just aim to be in a supportive room, even if it's for a few hours. A room where you’re reminded that you’re not alone, that other people are figuring it out too and using that to perk yourself up to get up and go again!
Go again!
Until next Sunday,
Dior xx