It's time to be really honest with yourself
If you feel defensive, there’s something you’re not admitting to yourself.
I’ve seen it in myself, particularly in my business.
When someone questions me in an area where I have true clarity, I stay calm. I can hear them and reply. I'm not shaken.
That’s what happened a few days ago in Ibiza (a total dream come true btw, speaking at a retreat! This has been on my vision board for years).
While out there, someone asked about my business and once I had answered, they said “You’re undercharging. £199 for your membership is too low.”
If there's a statement that could trigger me, it would be this.
But it didn't.
Trust me, I've gone back and forth on this question myself. I've grown up with limiting beliefs about money and have been doing the work to let it all go.
As I was being questioned, I felt grounded because I’ve already questioned myself, pulled apart my reasoning and decided why I run things the way I do.
But there are other times I haven’t had that clarity and that’s when defensiveness creeps in.
A while ago I was working with a woman helping me with marketing. She suggested a strategy I wasn't comfortable with. It hit me in the gut and my answers were flustered and reactive. I wasn’t confident because I hadn’t interrogated my own approach yet.
I didn't know why I was doing things the way I was doing it.
My defence was baseless and weak.
That’s the difference.
It's easy to be confident if you've never been questioned. What looks like certainty is often just unchallenged thinking. Until you face the hard questions yourself, you’re running on borrowed confidence.
The solution is to question yourself, first!
When you’ve already faced your doubts, examined your choices and got honest with yourself, you don’t get thrown off. You don’t need to defend. You already know.
Here are 5 questions that help me do that work are:
- Why am I doing this?
- Why am I really doing this?
- Why am I doing this in this way?
- Should I continue to do it this way?
- What now?
If you sit with these questions honestly, you’ll find your confidence grows, not because everything is perfect but because you’re testing yourself before anyone else can.
That’s the kind of confidence that lasts.
Which area in your life needs to be questioned, today!
Until next Sunday,
Dior xx
P.S. If you keep telling yourself ‘I’ll figure it out’ let this be the moment you actually do. The 'Essential Action' webinar is coming up soon, grab your spot here.